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Thursday, March 3, 2016

My Heart is Sick

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12


Just when I thought I was coming out of the dark, I realized I am still here. Harassing me at every corner is doubt, fear, and disappointment. Unbelief, anger, bitterness and resentment assault me and get the best of me every time, even though I resolve to never let that happen again. Pain attempts to take control of my every waking moment, paralyze me and take me captive into isolation.

How is it possible for me to still be battling the same circumstances, even after hearing God’s voice, feeling his presence and seeing His intervention in my life? I believe the answer lies in the verse above. My heart has grown sick because the things spoken of, to me, have yet to be fulfilled. However, there is one thing that is true now that was not so a few years ago – I believe God is faithful.
While my heart is sick waiting for the manifestation of His promises, which will undoubtedly look differently from what I expect, I will hold on to His truths. I will focus on His promises and meditate on His character.

God’s Promises:

  • But the Lord is faithful. He will strengthen you and protect you from the enemy. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

  • Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19
  • This vision is for a future time…and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. Habakkuk 2:3
  • Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43:1-3 

  • …He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6


God’s Character:
  • God is good
  • God is sovereign
  • God never changes
  • God is faithful
  • God is almighty
  • God is perfect


If you are struggling and feel that the circumstances have stolen your joy, peace and contentment fight to keep your faith in God. If you have lost that too, like I did years ago, do not fear. God is still faithful. His love is greater that our fears, doubts, pain, unbelief, anger, disappointment, bitterness, resentment, failures, mistakes and sin. Do not worry if all you can say is God have mercy. He not only hears you, but will respond to that. He looks at our hearts and He “…will not reject a broken and repentant heart…” Psalm 57:17

It’s ok to go to Him and say “God I don’t believe anymore, trust anymore, and/or hope anymore.” It’s safe to acknowledge that you have no desire, will, or strength, or that you are angry, bitter and/or resentful. He knows, He’s just waiting for you to open up to Him and let Him in. “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” Revelation 3:20 He loves it when we approach Him with honesty and brokenness and ask Him to give us the ability love Him and live a life of faith. He patiently, lovingly full of mercy and grace waits for the opportunity.

Do not give up…or better yet give up at Jesus’s feet. That's what I've done. I am relying on Him, His word and His promises. I can tell you that His healing, comfort, strength and peace has invaded my soul since I began writing this short blog. Proving once again that His word is alive and active and more powerful than any two-edged sword, that He watches over His word to fulfill it, and that He is my healer, comfort and strength. Once again, He has proven His faithfulness and love to me. Though I am walking in the valley of the shadow of darkness, I will not fear - for He is with me.

May His promises, truth and character fill you with His peace, hope, love, strength, contentment and Joy. 

Going Deeper:

  1. Study the Life of Jeremiah
  2. Read David's Psalms
  3. Listen to “Find You on My Knees” by Kari Jobe